Today what is going on? The land of food is contaminated with all these vegan, vegetarian, pesky-tarian jokers . . .
FUCK THAT NOISE.
We have canines for Christ’s sake! We are born meat eaters. No pussy footing around when it comes to this shit.
After busting our asses down at the gym, we want some real meat to get our teeth into!
But your chicken dinner is lacking creativity, and you is tired of the same old drive-thru.
Time to mix things up a little because there are more healthy ways to cook one bird than you may initially think. . .
Here are some ideas for you to turn your boring rotisserie cluckers into exciting, tasty and finger lickin’
Spicy Badass Beast.
Sometimes breast is best! So grab a pair and stick them into a bowl. Whack in some herbs and spices like:
– Cayenne Pepper
– Black Pepper
It is down to you to decide how hot y’all wanna get, but be careful!
Rub them up. Fondle them. You heard.
And then lightly grill that shit until clear juice seeps from its pores. You want that bitch drippin’.
Bang together with some veg and you got yourself a damn fine bird for tonight. Food porn.
Lime Time, Brother.
You heard me, we going Mexican style over here for a second. On this special occasion, you are gonna have a soup like you never had before. Strip your breast (meaning cut them into strips, my man). In a boiling pot stick in:
Onion + Garlic
Sim-simmer with some olive oil and then add your beast.
Make her look golden brown, give that creature a nice tan and then add some chili and stock. Let your dinner bubble for 15 and then pop in the magic ingredients:
Lime + Cilantro
Season to taste and then kick back: this is a Latino mouth orgasm.
Jerk The Bastard.
Here me now! Rice an’ pea an’ ting. We are heading to Jamaica across the Caribbean for this dish. (Just kiddin’ we are heading to your kitchen – but feel free to play some upbeat reggae tunes to create the mood.)
This is for the guys who like the rubbin’ up the thighs.
This shizzle is an overnighter, so you are going to need to marinade and wait. But trust, it is worth it.
You will need to slam this into a bowl and then once again, fondle:
– Scotch bonnet chilies
– Veg oil
Be sure to wash your hands after to avoid disasters. The last thing you wanna do is go set your dick on fire by heading straight to pee.
The next day, she is ready to be toasted in the oven for 45 minutes. Shazam! Kiss ma teeth.