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Margaritas Are Good For Most Things, But in The Long Run…

by Rich Emrett

Margaritas Are Good For Most Things, But in The Long Run…

Seems like a good idea at the time, every time you get wasted, right?

Phase #1 Chillin’

Starts off with a couple of beers at home and then you get bored drinking on your tod, so you head to the bar. It’s 4 pm. Why the fuck not, right?

So one by one your pals turn up, they have had a long ass day at work and already hit the gym this morning. Time to slam a couple down with the homies!

By this time, you already had what – only five beers? No, wait, maybe it was six? Who gives a shit!

Then you check your phone and that gorgeous woman you have been wanting to entertain finally says she is down. THIS is worth breaking off, going home and taking a shower for!

Phase #2 Trippin’

So, y’all drive home – yes DRIVE. What? You can handle it! Until you scrape the trashcan, and you think:

“Maybe I should walk back there, after all, she will be ordering the cocktails.”

You trip on the way in (but that was nothing to do with the booze) and quickly grab that shower. AAhh! Yes. Running water. That makes everything better.

a

You done, you dressed, you set. Out the motherfucking door. Feeling fresh and buzzin’, checking your cell – you are on time, plenty of time actually! (Especially because she is a girl and women are just about always, fashionably, late.)

Phase #3 Just making an utter prat of

yourself

When, you arrive at bar number two of the day and take a seat up close and personal with the bartender (of course you want the best service.) She ain’t here yet, so when the waiter asks you “What can I get you?” It would be rude not to, right?

So three beers later and she has finally arrived. Of course, she wants the margaritas, and you think you are man enough to handle.

b

But you forgot one major thing – you have already had ten fucking beers. And then whoops! She drank that a first one a little too fast (because unbeknown to you she can see she has some catching up to do.)

When you been drinking beer all day – THE STRUGGLE IS REAL.
Especially, when you start on the tequila.
This concoction is not a good mix and is in actuality – A RECIPE FOR DISASTER.

And don’t think you can get away with hiding it, she noticed after you finished the first one. She already ordered you water. She is on the edge of her seat waiting to pull the “I’m just going to the bathroom” move. You know?

The one where she doesn’t come back.

Yep. You failed bro. That wobble on you got there, not so manly anymore. Say goodbye to your reputation because right now it looks like you had one drink and turned into a paralytic freak.
c

Don’t be a desperado.

Image sources:
http://theodysseyonline.com/purdue/17-signs-your-big-is-actually-your-mom/336709
http://rebrn.com/re/showering-makes-me-feel-better-349811/
http://www.mensxp.com/special-features/today/22575-12-funny-kinds-of-firsttime-drinkers-we-all-have-met.html

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