In 2016 it can be difficult to navigate the rocky waters of shared finances between romantic partners and spouses. Women are kicking ass and taking names in the work place and some feel belittled by men who think they need to pay for every little thing. On the other hand you still have your classic gold digger that will never let chivalry die and will never reach for her wallet at the dinner table. Then there is the broke ass, beat down scrub who still lives with Mom and Dad, rips the bong (jah feel me?) and has his lady come pick him up from his job as a bus boy at the local Hibachi restaurant.
The Pimp and the Gold Digger
He’s the guy in the sports car and she is the girl that doesn’t wear a coat to the club in the dead of winter and is wearing the most uncomfortable shoes known to man. He’ll spoil the crap out of her and then lash out when she complains the entire time. The classic case of the pimp and the gold digger, you can spot it a mile away at any trendy restaurant. One night don’t reach for the bill and see what happens, tell her you are saving up for something and see how enthusiastic she is about getting in bed with you later. If you keep enabling you’ll keep spending. It is nice to be able to shower someone with gifts when money is no object, BUT make sure she is in it for your tiger-like instincts in bed and not just your wallet.
Mr and Mrs. Check Splitter
They are both professionals that read the New York Times and go to see off-Broadway plays in their spare time. They always split the check, everything is fifty-fifty and oh are they keeping score. There is nothing wrong with this method, especially if you are both young and successful, if you are a fifty year-old executive—pick up the damn check. If you are married and still doing this, it can be just plain weird. It is nice to keep both your finances separate for some things, but as far as your living space and food try not to score keep too much.
The Scrub and the Bread Winner
He may know the opening riff to Smoke on the Water and tats what got him in her pants in the first place or his claim to fame as a “free spirit”, but we all know this guy is not picking up the check. He’ll borrow money and then make lame excuses to not pay her back. Do NOT be this guy. It is okay to split things and have some money equality as previously mentioned, but don’t rob your girl blind and promise her a pot of gold at the end of your hippie rainbow. It’s okay if you aren’t Daddy Warbucks and she is raking in the dough, get some Chinese takeout and have an indoor picnic, take her hiking, do free stuff, and take her places. Do NOT take her places consistently and then make her foot the bill. While it may be embarrassing to admit you don’t have the cash to do things she wants to do, its worse to take her money with the illusion you’ll one day repay.