Something feels off, and you can’t quite tell what it is. When things are going awesome in the first couple of weeks or months, it’s pretty easy to ignore. But if she’s constantly talking shit about exes who are totally crazy, maybe she’s crazy too. And if you feel like she’s hot and cold and hot again, maybe you should pay more attention to when she’s being cold than when the sex fixes everything. It’s easy to see when someone else is in an unhealthy relationship, but it’s a lot harder to see when you are, especially if you’re used to being the one in control. Here are 7 early signs you might be in your own unhealthy relationship – and that you should consider getting out:
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She can’t control her temper.
She can’t help but get into an explosive fight with her parents in front of you. Or can’t keep a job because she can’t get along with coworkers or her boss. If she’s angry at her situation or other people and can’t deal with her emotions, you could be her next target for expressing her anger. This can quickly turn into verbal or even physical abuse.
She has terrible relationships with ex-friends and ex-boyfriends.
When she’s alienated a ton of people and has exes who would never dream of talking to her or making amends, chances are you’re going to end up in the same situation.
She doesn’t support your goals.
Ever hear “I don’t really see you doing that” or “It seems like you should A instead of B”? She’s trying to control you. She’s also being unsupportive. Even if you’re unsure about whether someone should do something or if it’ll work out, being supportive comes before being critical.
You can’t trust her.
Trust is critical for a healthy relationship. If she obsesses over the potential for you to cheat or if she’s got a history herself, be wary. You should be able to trust each other in a healthy relationship.
She’s all you do.
You stop going to the gym as often. She dominates your weekends, and soon she’s dominating your weeks. You don’t even see your friends anymore. This might make you feel really damn happy and loved, but you also need alone time to recharge and your independence and ability to take care of yourself.
She’s slowly changing who you are.
It could start out with a little jab about how you don’t dress up enough or how it’s lame you go to trivia or even that you should get a better job. If she’s not satisfied with who you are the way you are, you’ve got a problem. If you’re already starting to change who you are for her, you’ve got a much bigger problem.
She expects you to put everything into the relationship when she hardly gives anything.
You’re constantly doing things to make her happy whether it’s regularly checking in via text, doing her favors, or complimenting her. But it’s never enough. At the same time, you may not even notice that she isn’t even returning the favor. Takers are no good in relationships if they can’t give back. Don’t fall for a controlling, selfish leech.