Most couples, especially in long-term relationships, go through bouts of low libido but only a few are open to talking about it. It’s because men don’t talk about their sex life more openly.
Society expects men to be strong, reliable, and always driven, the main reasons why men aren’t so open about their weaknesses and vulnerabilities. Doing so would make them less manly. Because men’s problems are least discussed, problems can escalate and may reach a devastating end. The likes would be shattered relationships and marriages.
One of the issues men have difficulty discussing is low sex drive, which is caused by many factors that are inevitable in today’s age and lifestyle such as stress, obesity, medication, and alcoholism.
Fluctuating sex drive is common to happen in one’s life affecting both men and women. Problems start to occur when the low libido could go on for months or years. Low libido causes a partner to lose interest in sexual activity. If not addressed earlier, the problem may create tension in the relationship, causing guilt for the partner with low sex drive and doubt for the other. The following are some of the most common effects of low libido in men:
Loss of confidence and faith in oneself often accompany a diminishing sex drive. Society has this notion that the “essence” of a man is found in his sexual prowess. The more he’s able to give mind-blowing sex, the more masculine he becomes. Thus, when he loses sex drive, he’ll feel he’s no longer man enough. He feels inadequate, insecure, and even a failure.
Confusion on the partner
Once men lose their sex drive without discussing it with their partners, their partners start to face confusion. Most often, when a husband or partner no longer shows interest in sex, the initial reaction of the wife would be confusion.
Because women take pride in their looks and appearance, lack of sexual activity can lead them to think they’re less attractive and desirable. They think there must be a turn-off here. They would soon assume that sexual rejection is taking place.
The inability of both partners to point out the main issue could lead to other issues that weren’t there in the first place, causing damage that may be hard to repair.
There’s a thin line between arousal and desire. Low libido can’t kill desire, which is always there. Arousal, however, goes away with the diminishing testosterone levels, which is often the cause for low sex drive.
Because men want to give their partners pleasure and don’t want to be discovered they’re low on libido, some of them resort to Viagra or Cialis. True to their word, the men using them get their much-needed erection but not without a price. One user said he came to feel disgusted with his partner doing sex often without ever wanting one. It’s because the effect of these medications is only short term.
About 77 percent of men admitted that they lose their happiness in life after the loss of their libido. While a loss of interest in sex is most common to women, men are more scared of facing the issue because of their ego being tied to their masculinity.
Feelings of pressure
Once low libido sets in, men start to see sex as a pressure. What they’ve once anticipated has become a cause for horror. They no longer want to look forward to sex. Doing something that’s no longer pleasurable for you, can be devastating. But often, men choose to suffer in silence than reveal their low libido issues. Besides, not all men know they have issues with libido. They’re just less aware of what’s going on in their bodies.
Going off sex would be much better than initiating and failing to get off. This is one sign your sex drive is no longer healthy. When you avoid instances that lead to sex, something’s messing up with your arousal.
Sexual desire or sexual activity plays a crucial role in relationships. It is said that women want to feel loved to go into sex while men want to have sex to feel loved. While this isn’t always true for everyone, sex makes a relationship fulfilling. And a lack of it could mean a thousand things for either of the partners. That’s why it’s of utmost importance for both partners to discuss their sex life, which naturally goes through ebbs and highs. And when a loss of libido sets in for a prolonged period, figuring out for its cause would be much easier.
Common Causes of Low Libido
Several factors affect a man’s sex drive. The most common include:
- Erectile dysfunction, the inability to get or maintain an erection.
- Performance anxiety, which results when men have premature ejaculation or are just plain anxious to come up to perceived bedroom expectations.
- Stress, which numbs men to perform their best and affects their ability to focus on their sexual activity.
- Medical conditions, like cardiovascular diseases, hypertension, and diabetes. All these reduce blood flow to the body including the genitals, affecting erection.
- Depression, which causes individuals to lose interest in everything including sex.
- Low testosterone, a condition that often comes with aging and definitely affects sex drive.
Most of the above factors affect men on their own, but they also affect testosterone levels, leading to low sex drive. Testosterone is an essential hormone for men to function optimally. When there’s no adequate production of this male hormone, your sex life will suffer and even your relationship.
Maintaining healthy testosterone levels is key to keeping your sex life at its peak. Because testosterone production declines with age, supplementation is your best option.