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11 Gym People that You Wish You Could Punch

by Rich Emrett
guys on the gym

Gym People that You Wish You Could Punch

Man, the gym is a great place, isn’t it? You can hit those weight hard, grunt your face off while deadlifting, and look at all the gym bunnies that walk around in tight shorts (or guys in tight shirts if you’re a lady!).

But the worst part about coming here is the people. Most of them are fine, but you seem to always encounter a select group of jackasses that ruin your day.

Here are 11 of the worst gym people that you wish you could lay out and not get arrested

Guy who thinks he owns the gym

Everyone hates this guy. He’ll be everywhere that you are, and you can’t escape him. But the worst part is that he thinks he has a right to every single machine in the room.

You go to use the squat rack, and you hear from across the room “hey, I’m using that!” But he’ll be on the leg press in the corner.

If he was using it, why wasn’t he in the rack doing squats? Rather than fight, you oblige and storm off.

Girl who is clueless

“If I lift heavy, I’ll get big muscles!”

Ugh, no you won’t. This girl will be on the chest press doing half-reps with 10 lbs. on the machine. Doing 150 of these is just wasting your time.

Women naturally can’t get as large as men, and it’s because they lack the testosterone production. Lift heavy and be healthy, clueless girl!

Guy who leaves his shit all over the place

A slob is no big deal when he’s in his own natural habitat, but unleash him upon the world, and his disaster comes with him.

You’ll see towels scattered about, a water bottle that he forgot about, some paper towels, and his gym bag that is filled with stuff he doesn’t even use.

Hey, big guy. Clean that shit up. This isn’t your pig sty.

Old lady who sits at same machine for 40 minutes

You just want to get in a quick 3-4 sets of calf raises. That’s all you want to do. But nope, the old lady has been there for 40 minutes doing god knows what.

You say to yourself “ah, she’ll be done soon! I’ll just go do something over here until she’s done.”

But you’re done with 9 sets and she’s still there. How is that possible, you mutter to yourself! Some say she lives on the calf raise machine.

Guy who grunts way too loudly

Everyone grunts a little bit when they work out, or at least makes some kind of noise. After all, when you’re lifting 300 pounds, it’s only natural to exert some audible noise.

But this guy is usually not lifting very much, and he’s making more noise than all the people in the room combined.

Maybe he likes all the attention, or maybe he’s just an asshole. Probably the latter.

Guy who has 20 plates on the leg press for some reason

That’s 900 pounds. Unless you’re an Olympic athlete, you’re not lifting anywhere close to that.

This guy is usually doing half-reps and thinks he’s the biggest and toughest guy around. But if he had to do full reps, he’d be crushed into oblivion and wheeled out on a stretcher.

What annoys you about this is that there are no plates for everyone else to use. So you have to sit there annoyed until he finishes being a dumb ass.

Guy who smells like he hasn’t showered since he was born

You walk past this guy, and you could swear that a dead body was buried beneath the floor boards that you just walked on.

You inspect the floor for a smell, but you find none. Then you realize that the guy who walked past you expelled such a noxious odor that not even Jesus himself could slay that demon.

For love of humanity, can you shower once in awhile? It wouldn’t kill you.

Guy who doesn’t know how to put weights back

There’s nothing worse than a sloppy gym with shit all over the place. The reason the dumbbells and weights are all over the place isn’t because the gym staff are lazy or that the gym sucks, it’s because the people that go there are too damn lazy to put stuff back where it belongs.

Next time you see a guy leave his dumbbells on the floor, throw them at his face.

Guy who would rather use smartphone instead of working out

The gym is for working out, not for playing on your smartphone and talking to people. If you need to make a phone call, go outside. It’s fine if you need to change your music, but don’t be a gigantic dick and talk for 10 minutes on a machine that someone else could have used.

Guy who shadow boxes in the mirror

Uh oh! Look out! This guy is a total boxing champion!

This guy thinks he’s super cool, but he’s a total tool. Boxing with yourself in the mirror is really corny, and unbeknownst to you, everyone in your general vicinity is laughing at you.

If you want to do something that embarrassing, do it at home with the curtains closed. Even that is a little too much.

Guy who uses equipment incorrectly

First, let me say that I love when new people go to the gym. It shows that they care about their health, and are willing to fix themselves for the better.

But when there’s a guy in there who is so lost that he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing, then it becomes a problem. And the worst part is that he’s usually hogging something you need.

Go on Google, learn some things, and then come back, junior.

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